New Ventures, Life Expectancy and Online Dating

 It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written anything and I finally have some news worth sharing… I got a new job. (yay!!!) Yep, someone is going to pay me a salary, benefits, the whole thing to write. It’s a technical writer position, so not too glamorous, but important none the less, and it’s a job where I get to write every day! Pretty freakin cool in my mind. Plus, I’ll still get to write about fun stuff for freelance clients and here on my special little page.

During tha past many months of unemployment, one of the things that I’ve discovered that I actually really can’t stand is daytime TV. I mean, people really watch this stuff and enjoy it? (Two notable exceptions being Dr Oz… love him, and recently I have found that I do like The Chew. Great cast and I dig cooking so it works for me.) So today, I decided to watch a show called The Revolution. Ty Pennington and Tim Gunn are two of the hosts and I do like both of them so I thought I’d give it a try. I hate to say that I wasn’t blown away but the topic of today’s show was about life expectancy and that did interest me. Turns out the hosts and audience had all taken a quiz by this University of Pennsylvania Professor named Dean P. Foster. His quiz asks several questions that will not only tell you your life expectancy, but also how you can improve it AND by how long. Ok, I’m in… So I took the quiz. Turns out, I should live to be approximately 89 years old. And the only things I can do to raise this number is drink more and have some more sex (not too much, now, just a little more). While I tend to be skeptical of many “experts” out there, I’m thinking that Prof Foster is someone whose research I can get behind. I’ll let you know on my 91st birthday if his advice worked.

On a side note, I am not an online dater. At the advice of a friend, I signed up for Match.com and lasted all of about 10 days. I’m not knocking online dating; I know several people who have married someone they met online and are in happy, committed relationships today. Having said that, I constantly get emails, Facebook ads, etc… offering different online dating services, tailored of course to my “type” (which is all over the place so not sure how they arrive at these types, but I digress…) I do have an affinity for guys with tattoos, not prison tats, naked chicks or something that looks like your buddy did it with a sewing needle and some India Ink on your back porch, but nice artistic pieces. If you’ve got a nice body to display them on, all the better. So when I received an email for a dating site for “Tattoo Lovers” it made me curious so I checked it out. I made a profile and everything. Although I found that you cannot really get access to anything such as messages, etc… without paying, which I am not going to do. I did leave enough information on said site that one guy was able to find ME though. So he emailed me. This is basically what it said: I’m a cool guy… blah, blah, blah… looking for best friend… blah, blah, blah… and someone I can ravish daily. Hhhmmm… maybe he knows about Prof Foster’s life expectancy assessment. 2012 is looking up!

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